The Met Ball 2018: A Ranking

PriyankaChopraRalphLaurenThe annual Met Ball is a bewildering, spectacular, and often highly amusing intersection of the worlds of celebrity, haute couture, and institutional fashion curating. Marking the opening of the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute’s annual fashion exhibition, the highly mediatized event serves as the biggest fundraiser for the museum, masterminded, of course, by the incomparable Anna Wintour. At no other occasion does the entire Hollywood jetset follow the dresscode of a fashion scholar just to get in to the good party, and with its red carpet matching the branding value of the Grammys and Oscars, it’s a moment where designers do their utmost to deliver the best gown for the ball. In previous years, the themes has caused quite a bit of confusion among celebs and their stylists – see the atrocity committed by the entirety of last year’s Rei Kawakubo-inspired gala, with the exception of Rihanna – but sometimes, academia, money, and art seems to triangulate beautifully on the stairs of the Upper East Side Museum. This year, the call was for Catholicism in all its baroque iconography, marked by the exhibition “Heavenly Bodies,” curated by Andrew Bolton, featuring historical dress from the Catholic church alongside contemporary fashion inspired by this loaded erotic visual vocabulary. Sadly, it wasn’t all horny nuns on the red carpet – but there were a couple of truly incredible responses to the theme. Here, in true DANSK irreverence, we present you a ranking of the 10 most notable – ranked from bad to pure excellence!

10. Katy Perry in Versace – a designer choice that does still not excuse her levels of Cirque du Soleil crassness. Can someone please remove her permanently from the fashion world, pronto???
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9. Mary J. Blige in unnamed designer – perhaps because not even a Project Runway contestant would want to stand behind this discarded Game of Throne costume, which makes us wonder if Blige’s stylist ever got the wrong gala invitation.
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8. Lena Waithe in unnamed designer – who, despite a good cause, severely misunderstood the minutiae of ‘subversive fashion’ and American literalism
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7. Selena Gomez in Coach – suggesting that there’s nothing more Catholic than a Disney-produced child performer who cannot seem to escape her high school fling.SelenaGomezCoach

6. Jennifer Lopez in Balmain – looking like – well, Jennifer Lopez in Balmain
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5. Nicki Minaj in Oscar de la Renta – displaying a themelessness that is fully justified by her fabulousness
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4. Solange in Iris Van Herpen – cleverly subverting thousand years of Christian iconography which only feature white people
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3. Migos in Versace – never has Italian baroque clashed so productively with American gangster aesthetics
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2. Madonna in Jean Paul Gaultier – because there is only one slutty Virgin Mary in Hollywood, the one who appropriated Catholicism in the first place.
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1. Rihanna in Maison Margiela Artisanal – because, more people should think about Popal fashion. Of course, she is.
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All images courtesy of New York Times